The Ring Bearer

"Oh okay, Mommy. That's nice." This is the response that I get from my toddler when I answer most of his questions. Ranger is inquisitive, sarcastic, and comedic these days. He's learning faster than I ever understood a child his age could. He is genuine about most things, but he's always looking for a chance to pull the wool over your eyes too. He has the stubbornness of an young donkey, but the compassion of a caregiver. In today's society...if he were an adult right now...he'd also be bipolar. One minute he's snuggling his head next to mine telling me how much he missed me...then I blink and he's taken my cheeks in both hands and blown a raspberry on my nose. The kid is destined for greatness...with a suitcase full of trouble rolling along behind him. I. Love. It. I wouldn't have this any other way.

Being a mom to a toddler has definitely opened my eyes to how I truly live my life. Every action is scrutinized, processed, and imitated. Every word is stored in his ginormous memory bank. I sometimes find myself really thinking before I act...or apologizing for my abrupt actions/words. I've also decided that the last thing I want is for Ranger to feel like or sense is that I am annoyed with him. Now granted, I'm not anywhere near perfect and can get frustrated/annoyed quite easily. But I have to sit back and remind myself that my toddler isn't on the warpath to annoy the heck out of me. He's learning, contemplating, and testing. God gave me the specific job of being his mother and with that comes blessings and responsibilities. This was very much clear to me a couple of weekends ago. Ranger had just finished rehearsing his ring bearer position in a wedding and we were on our way back to the motel. He talked...non-stop. By the time we made it to the motel, Austin and I were clearly toddler exhausted. But Ranger couldn't stop bouncing and talking and asking questions. I look back at that and realize that he had a great time rehearsing...he had learned many new things...and he was genuinely happy with how things had turned out. He was sharing that with us. Oh the sweet things we take for granted.

So the ring bearing experience. Ranger was born to be a ring-bearer apparently. My stress level leading up to this wedding had been sky high! Was my son going to cause a ruckus? Was he going to step on the bride's train? Say something about needing to potty in the middle of the ceremony? Stomp and refuse to participate? Run recklessly through the audience? Call out for me in the middle of the vows? I had been dreaming up all of these scenarios even though the bride (my husband's sweet cousin) had assured me she was still very much excited to have him take part in their wedding. I just knew we were going to be disowned after the experience. The day of the rehearsal arrived and Ranger walked down the aisle as directed. He stood at the front with the groomsmen as asked. And he consistently gave me a thumbs up and a big smile every time he looked at me. It was all going as planned, but I must have looked like a stressed out mom the entire time. Then the big day arrived. Austin and I drove into Arlington and took Ranger up to DBU and Chick-Fil-A to run the energy out of him and get in a good nap. Successful, we made our way back to the motel to get him dressed in his suit and boots for the wedding. He very grudgingly put on the outfit, but seemed very excited to get this wedding going. We stood at the back as the groomsmen filed into their spots. Ranger and his cousin Brinley (the flower girl) were having a fine time playing with the petals in her basket. Finally, the time arrived and the wedding coordinator gave him a little nudge to go ahead. He turned and looked at me, grinned, and marched down that aisle holding his sign that read, "Here Comes the Bride."

I snuck around to my seat where Austin was and hid behind an unsuspecting gentlemen in front of me. And would you believe it?...my two year old stood in his spot, holding his sign, for about a 15 minute ceremony...quiet as a mouse. I nearly passed out. I met him at the back and he ran to me saying, "I did it!" I could almost hear God saying, "Where is your faith, mommy?" All in all...it was a beautiful wedding. Kelsey and Luke are very very blessed. We enjoyed a wonderful dinner and some fun dancing. The prayer for the food ended, everyone said "Amen" and then Ranger chimed in with an "AAAAmen!" as loud as he possibly could. It was a great laugh for everyone. Ranger especially enjoyed the dancing. He just couldn't help it when he saw Kelsey dancing. He was with his Grammie and kept saying, "I wanna dance with the princess!" When he finally got his dance, he beamed! Kelsey was so sweet to dance with him. I tried dancing with him afterwards, but he kept asking to dance with the White Princess. *sigh*

Ranger is two and a half now. I can barely believe it. And I've loved every moment of it...good or bad. I'm really working on not dwelling on the hard parts of raising him, but rather cherishing what is learned during those times. A dear friend of mine lost her infant son recently. I can't imagine the pain...and I don't want to honestly. But I do hug my son a little tighter now. I thank God constantly for giving us the chance to be his parents. And I look for chances to show him grace...even when times are tough. I see how my friend has a renewed faith in God despite her circumstances and it reminds me of God's grace and how beautiful it is even in the toughest of times. Hug your babies. Love your loved ones. Grant forgiveness and search for the truth. Mommies are called to greatness...its just an incredible climb with many adventures along the way and an ending that God has planned special.